Conversion Therapy, Revenge Porn, and Criticism

Here’s an important perspective, I think, for anyone who reads or writes LGBTQIA+ romance.

'Nathan Burgoine

I always feel like I need to start blogs like this with a caveat: I’m not telling someone they can’t write something. I will never tell someone they can’t write something. Much like my latest “Why You?” post over at SpAN, or previous discussions over Pseudonym vs Identity or Gay-For-You, I want to be super clear on this point, again, just in case: I’m not suggesting a limitation who can write what. At all.

What I am suggesting is there are topics that need a tonne of forethought, and that some topics are definitely going to get critical feedback. This? This is critical feedback.

So. A book crossed over to my radar yesterday which had multiple plot threads that gave me pause. I only ended up talking about one of them because I had spoons enough for one go, but I’ll touch on more today likely.

Now, this book…

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Book review: The Whites of Their Eyes: A Collection of Queer Horror by Xen Sanders


There are no happy endings here.

In the town of Inverse, Silvino and Scott Orellano discover the darkness in their deepest hearts. At the cusp of a new life, Kane Orwell learns terrible truths whispered by a black and eldritch mouth. Torn between one identity and another, Shania Logan struggles to hold on to the fragments of her self. 

And standing on the threshold of the afterlife, a grieving wife balances between life and death on the flicker of a candle’s flame. 





Four tales of horror, written from a queer perspective. In this collection of short stories and novellas, our heroes and heroines will explore the depths of terror both macabre and mundane–and live their darkest fears, reflected in the whites of their eyes.


This was some strong stuff, most of it quite intense, packing a powerfully visceral and psychological punch. Seriously, it was the stuff of nightmares. 

But it was also just incredibly good, very moving and so well written. 

It’s hard to pick a favorite, but I guess one was Mouth, because I loved the relationship between Kane and Michio, even though that made the horror aspects of the story even harder to take. 

Mouth also contains these words, which so struck me with their feeling of familiarity; it’s one of the best descriptions of toxic shame and it’s causes, that I’ve ever read in a work of fiction. 

“He’d spent so long being told he had no right to exist, that he should apologize for being in this space or that, for taking up room, for breathing air.

It was like some deep harsh part of him demanded he apologize for his success, too, as if the entirety of the world was leaning in and saying how dare you.

How dare you, someone like you, want anything for yourself.

The other one I was especially drawn to was Flicker, because it was so full of love. Even though I cried all the way through, because the story of that love was told in context with it’s imminent, heartbreaking loss, it was still very beautiful.

Book review: Business Makes Strange Bedfellows by E.E. Ottoman


Dr. Gert Bower’s day goes bad fast when she accidentally releases an abominable monster of the abyss on the streets of New York City. Desperate to stop it, she turns to the only person who can help her track the monster down. Vi De Luca is a private detective and creature of the night, a vampire more than willing to help Gert—for a price. 

In exchange for catching the monster, Gert must spend one night with Vi, and let Vi have her way with Gert’s blood and body. Though she does not remotely trust Vi, for the good of the city Gert agrees. Yet tracking the monster turns out to be more than either of them had bargained for. When Gert embarks on an experiment to try and reanimate a human corpse things just keep getting worse.


I’ve had this story for a while but when the author sent out a free copy as a Hallowe’en treat for people who get their newsletter, it reminded me I’d never gotten around to reading it. 

I really liked this a lot! And wow, it totally wasn’t what I would have expected, based on the word “business” in the title; I actually think that’s what put me off reading it so long. But I had apparently forgotten what the blurb said: This is no ordinary blah-type business we’re talking here! 🙂

This was partly an f/f rendering of Frankenstein, only it’s kind of . . . Dr. Frankenstein meets cool vampire detective for scary adventures and hot sexytimes, and both are surprised when things take a turn into deeper feels.

The story was, by turns, grisly, erotic, disturbing, surprisingly thought provoking, and genuinely lovely. And the ending managed to take an act of blinkered ambition with predictably horrifying results, and turn it into a creepy-sweet HEA that tugged hard on my heartstrings. In the end, all I could feel was awwww! 

I also can’t stop picturing these characters as Edward Gorey illustrations. Particularly poor, dear little Matilda! 🖤🖤🖤

“Me Too”: LGBTQ+ people and sexual assault

An important intersectional contribution to the conversation, originally blogged by Sam Hope at

When all LGBTQ+ people including men are at elevated risks of sexual violence, how can we speak about this without erasing men’s violence against women? Sam Hope shares some intersectional insight on the issue

Facebook and Twitter are alive with a #MeToo hashtag, an attempt for people to show just how prevalent gendered sexual violence and harassment is, in the wake of stories about Harvey Weinstein and Ben Affleck.

“If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too.” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”

My trans and trans-friendly connections started to throw up alternatives to this original copy&paste meme: “women and non binary people” was one alternative, “women and femmes” another, as people struggled to include the complexity of how gendered violence impacts our diverse world. What was less surprising, perhaps, was how many of…

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Book Review: The Perilous Life of Jade Yeo, by Zen Cho

This is adorable! Such a charming story & I love this clever, witty heroine with her sharp humor & insightful observations. And she’s a book reviewer, which I kinda got a kick out of 🙂

The story is told through the medium of a series of journal entries & one letter to a friend, which had a confidential tone I liked. I also liked that characterizations are very nuanced portrayals. There are no real villains, just people with flaws & weaknesses  & vulnerability, even the worst of them likable at times.

Something else I appreciated was the story’s nuanced portrayal of the racism which is simply organic in the heroine’s life. I thought it was an excellent representation of the  unconscious & very normalized face of racism. We see it internalized; we see people making racist assumptions who are otherwise fairly decent people. Even the heroine, a marginalized person herself, says something thoughtlessly offensive about the religion of a very good friend.

I’m probably making this sound like more of a thing than it was by focusing on it so much. This is not at all heavy handed or the focus of the book.  It’s subtle, yet ubiquitous, like background level radiation, but that’s what struck me about it. Jade or Geok Huay (her real name) notices it, remarks on it with wry humor, but its also just part of the fabric of her life, & the way the story almost silently shows us that pervasiveness sort of makes a point without  making a point of doing so, if that makes sense.

Beyond all of that, this was a lovely story of a young woman determined to “be true to oneself, and taste as much as one can of the varied buffet of life”.  How she indulges in a scandalous affair, gets a bit more than she bargained for, finds friends in surprising places along the way, and surprises herself most of all by falling in love. And that love story itself I found very endearing, funny & sweet.

All in all there’s a lot packed into this rather small package. I’ve read one other thing by this author & really enjoyed her work, so I definitely plan to read more.

Book Review: Enemies like You, by Annika Martin & Joanna Chambers

Omg, this was amaaazing! This is one of those books that should absolutely be a movie, just sayin’!  What a grippingly suspenseful little spy thriller, and oh my word, we are talking hot!  Like seriously hot, with a generous serving of kinky.  And if that’s not enough there’s genuine tenderness, humor, a great mystery that builds tantalizingly towards a highly satisfying conclusion, and a heartbreaking revelation for one character near the end of the book that briefly gave me such feelz I nearly broke down over it in public.  Don’t worry, though, there’s definitely a happy ending 🙂

There are also two incredibly fantastic lead characters, both of them strong but also very vulnerable, both heroic, yet only too human.  They each come with complicated emotions and a moving backstory.  And they’re both extremely appealing, but in entirely different ways.  For that last reason, this isn’t just an enemies-to-lovers romance, it’s also an opposites attract sort of thing, because really, each man could hardly be any less like the other . . . or so it seems.  Because the more you read, the more common threads are revealed.  And not to be too trite & all “in the end we’re all the same” about it, but it’s the combination of all this that makes them such a great couple, makes them, in fact, actually so perfect for each other that it felt to me quite “meant to be”.  And that’s something I have a real soft spot for in romance, because it’s one of those supposedly “fantasy” elements that I actually find to be very  true to life – or at least it has been in my experience.

I loved both characters, but I do have to admit to being really partial to Kit ❤ ❤ ❤ I mean, for one thing, if there’s ever a contest Kit would win, hands down, if for no other reason than having the most killer line in the book.  And possibly in the history of killer lines.  So, of course I have to quote it here.  I gotta warn you though, it’s kinda spoilery for something we learn around 10% into the book – though if you’re anything like me I suspect you’ll have guessed it much earlier on (not because it’s too-easy but just, y’know, it only makes sense, assuming you’ve read the book description) – but anyway here it is, for the non-spoiler averse among us, or those who have already read the book:


“They don’t like it that I’m twice the man they’ll every be and prettier than any woman they could ever get.

What can I say? I’ve always been an overachiever.”


I mean, just . . .*ded*! Am I right? Is that, or is that not the best line ever?! Okay, technically 2 lines, 2 sentences anyway, but whatever.  James Bond couldn’t even touch it. I pretty much gave it my own personal standing ovation in my living room 😀

Aanyway obviously I really loved this 😉   I’ll add that I’ve read Joanna Chambers before & always love her work, but this was my first time reading Annika Martin . . . or so I thought!  Until I found out she apparently also writes romantic suspense as Carolyn Crane.  I’ve only read one Crane book, the first of her The Associates series, and it was sexy & good & well written, but somehow I wasn’t in love with it.  And was disappointed by that as I’d heard such great things about it from people whose tastes tend to align with mine & whose literary opinions I really respect.  So I’d chalked it up to a case of maybe-this-author/series/genre(?)-just-isn’t-for-me.  But I’m so blown away by this book it’s convinced me to give that series & author “brand” another try.  Particularly as I’ve been hearing that the 2nd book in that series is particularly awesome.

Either way, I’ll definitely be up for the next thing by this author duo, and will be checking out more Annika Martin books as well!

Highly recommended for anybody who likes enemies-to-lovers and/or sexy, kinky espionage-flavored romantic suspense.

Book Review: How to Bang a Billionaire, by Alexis Hall

Okay, so, it’s official (if there was ever any doubt):  I am crazy in love with this book!

It’s just delightful:  Funny (hilarious, even), adorable, moving, and very, very sexy.  All of it beautifully written, of course, and shot through with that emblematic poignancy that is, more than anything else, this author’s brand. His, um, Hallmark, you might say 😉 And featuring a cast of intriguing and appealing characters, notably one of the most lovable protagonists you’re ever likely to meet on a page. I mean, of course, unless you don’t like funny, sweet, endearingly neurotic, smart, self-deprecating, flirty,  kind-hearted, reflective, tender, sex-positive,  vulnerable, assertive, and cuddly . . . but I’m kinda partial to all that myself 🙂

I think this one of the best things Alexis Hall has written so far, especially in terms of achieving a perfect balance between accessibility and art, as it were. Without sacrificing any of the trademark qualities that make his writing so exceptional.

Don’t get me wrong, I love rolling in the linguistic opulence of some of his previous work, i.e. Glitterland, and look forward to doing so again.  Yet here we have the same beautiful, deeply affecting writing, just slightly more . . . sparingly gorgeous: Like fragments of poetry strewn amongst the prose. We have the same charmingly irreverent (often laugh-out-loud) humor. The touchingly vulnerable characterizations. The sex scenes as moving for their exquisite tenderness as for their rapturous sensuality. And that almost subliminal aura of feeling with which everything, even scene-setting descriptions, seems to imbued.

Most importantly, we still have that ineffable magic Alexis Hall’s work possesses that is more than the sum of those qualities. Which just . . . gets to me, like nothing else.  Makes me feel vulnerable when I’m reading, like all my outer layers are peeled off and I’m sort of . . . skin-to-skin and heart-to-heart with the story, so to speak.  Something I know I’m far from the only one who feels.

The book opens with a darkly compelling prologue, exquisite prose as sharply delineated as a fairy tale, a scene to be lingered over and pondered.  I did both.

Then I moved on to the first chapter.  In which we find university student Arden St. Ives in the midst of cold-calling college alumni to hit them up for donations.  During which, lo and behold, he soon ends up speaking with the billionaire of the title.  Which, in a matter of moments, was doing this to me:

Aww, he’s so cute.

Omg, he’s adorable ! *audible squee*



Oooh *shivers*





*is captivated by amusing banter*


All of this, mind you, between 2 and 3% in the book!

Now, here’s a thing. Though I love his books above all others, I’ve only somewhat rarely reviewed Alexis Hall’s work, because I typically get so emotional about it that my reviews turn into a rambling, incoherent ode in which I vainly attempt to capture, with my  words the way his words make me feel, and then babble on effusively about it forever.  It’s usually so difficult for me to separate the book itself from all of that in order to discuss it halfway intelligently.

However, as I’m feeling slightly more than usually capable of doing that this time, let me move beyond the gushing to give that a try.  You may judge for yourself how well I’ve succeeded 😉

So, these are a few of the things I really loved about this book:

I love the way it takes on the popular “bildom” trope (if you don’t know by now, that means BDSM flavored romances built around a billionaire dom and a “regular person”), and in particular the preeminent example of that trope, Fifty Shades of Grey, and engages with it on multiple levels.

I have a real weakness for this sort of thing, I confess.  I see these tropes as archetypes, and I feel there are as many fresh perspectives of those archetypes to be revealed as there are human beings to write them. Like, I think you can probably never run out of new ways to re-imagine Beauty and the Beast, for example. Though, maybe that’s just me 🙂

Anyway, that’s what I feel this story is doing with this particular trope/archetype.  And doing, if you’ll pardon the expression, a bang-up job of it 😉

This book isn’t, from my perspective, parody or spoof or caricature (those are probably all the same thing, but the words have slightly different connotations to me).  And it’s more than simply a retelling with LGBTQ+ characters.  This is the author simultaneously entering, in good faith, into the spirit of this trope, while also playing with it. Putting a different spin on it. Subverting it. Queering it. Turning “expected” power dynamics on their head.  Moving the various elements around, presenting them from different angles, in different contexts, different light.  Paying it homage.  And gently, even affectionately, sending it up all at the same time:  Sort of like that thing where someone you love has a noticeable quirk that you both tease them for and love them for.

I also particularly appreciate the way this book takes on some troubling attitudes reflected in Fifty Shades and similar works:  The romanticizing of abusive elements in the core relationship, its conflation of BDSM or kink with abuse, and a related issue, its tendency to identify BDSM/kink almost as a symptom to be healed, brokenness in need of fixing.

This book, let me make it clear, does none of those things.  In fact, it does the opposite. It challenges those attitudes, and does so masterfully, but also organically. By validating kink elements in the budding relationship of Arden and Caspian as simply a variety of turn-on and sexual option. And by creating two bases for comparison:  The first, by giving us, in the opening scene, a brief window into a relationship that more closely parallels, in terms of emotional dynamic, the one in the Fifty; a vignette in which we see SPOILER someone suffering self-sacrificially in a kink scene, characterizing a lover as “broken” and aspiring to “save” him END SPOILER.  The second, by referencing abuse (in brief mentions of an off-page, past relationship involving a supporting character) thus contrasting consensual kink with something that is actually abusive.

I cannot tell you how much I love all of this!

I also love how you can see the “bones” of the trope origin, while the story that fleshes those bones is something completely, delightfully original.  The emotional story of Arden and Caspian is a far different one than that of Anastasia and Christian.

And, this is a small thing for me, but not so small for other people maybe:  I love that Arden identifies as pansexual, which I think is great representation for anyone who also identifies as such.  Because that’s not a label you see so often in romance, at least in my experience. It’s also worthy of note that we get to see a lovely poly relationship later in the book.

Then, the sex scenes, I gotta say something about those:  #Wow! I found them just gloriously, meltingly sexy, yet I think it’s notable that this is achieved almost entirely psychologically, without employing any of the “typical” BDSM accoutrements you might expect to see:  There are mentions of, but no actual, dungeons, whips, chains, cuffs, crops, etc.  It’s all thought, words, fantasy, tone of voice, and touch, or sometimes the mere suggestion of touch.  And it works, omg, does it ever work!  Of course it does, because there’s so much in desire, kinky or otherwise, that is mental.  I mean, there is a phone sex scene in here that is genuinely one of the most powerfully erotic things I’ve ever read.

Aaand (omg, this is going to be a novella), I want to say something about the characters too.

In comments “overheard” about this book, I’ve seen a reference or two, by people who really enjoyed the book, to the characters as being wonderful caricatures. And that’s as valid a reading as any. But my take is that the characters, like the book itself, are more than that.  I don’t think Alexis Hall ever really writes pure caricature, his characters are far too nuanced, and despite its trope-y basis, this book is no exception.

Caspian, the billionaire love interest of the title, is all cool control and faint arrogance, exactly as you might expect a billionaire to be  – except when he, enchantingly, isn’t.  It’s all so infused with humanness, with tantalizing glints of complex layers, of uncertainty, vulnerability, the barest hint of hidden hurt.  Caspian is intriguing, but not completely known. Not to Arden, or to the reader. Nor, I think, to himself.  Which seems entirely reasonable for a non-protagonist, in the first book of a 3-part trilogy.  Revealing and discovering the depths of Caspian will be, I think, the work of books 2 and 3 of this series.  And I’m so looking forward to that!

And then there’s Arden. Omg. I have the greatest affection for the protagonists of every Alexis Hall book. But with Arden he’s truly outdone himself in the huggable department. Arden is, hands down, the most adorable creature I’ve ever encountered in a book.  I can’t even tell you how many times it was necessary for me to pause in my reading to squoosh up my eyes and squee over him 🙂 I mean, we are talking eminently squishable. Serious ded-of-cute territory ❤

But, let me hasten to add, Arden is much more than merely adorable.  At 20 years old, he bears some resemblance to Toby in For Real, in that he’s a sort of an ingénue character, still finding his way, figuring out who he is and what he wants, second guessing himself, scared to death but also brave – though this last isn’t something he sees about himself.  There’s something universal in this. It’s not just for 20 year olds; I’m 3 times his age and still identify with so much of that.  I think being human is being in a perpetual state of uncertainty and discovery and becoming.  So I love that in Arden.  I also love his reflectiveness.  And the way he really cares about people, worrying about his friend’s laryngitis, smiling at someone because they need it, impulsively reciting a poem SPOILER on a rooftop, to a self-destructive near-stranger END SPOILER  just because it might make a difference.   I love how in touch he is with his emotions.  I adore his lovely, non-normative expression of masculinity.  I love how absolutely comfortable he is with that, and also with his sexual expression.  By which, I don’t mean his sexual orientation, but his expression of himself as a sexual being, his self-identification as a “wanton hussy”, his self-validation of that.  It’s not only the counterpoint to Anastasia’s virginal innocence in Fifty, it is also the absolute opposite of slut shaming, in all the ways, and it’s fantastic.

Ellery, Caspian’s younger sister, is haunting, a character painted movingly in tones of darkness with flashes of light.  Hers is a fragile vulnerability in brittle, cynical armor. You kind of want to hug Ellery a little bit too, though you feel like she might take a swathe out of you if you tried.

There are several other characters of note, but I’ll just say a little about them, because I really do need to stop somewhere!

There’s Nik, Arden’s “mostly straight” bff and onetime university roommate. The genuinely caring and mutually snuggly “friendmance” between these two is as charming & endearing as all get-out, even succeeded in giving me big, sniffly feels at one point.   And there’s Bellerose, Caspian’s dauntingly efficient and chillingly . . . chilling, but definitely intriguing assistant.  And last but far from least, Arden’s family, whom we meet at about 80% through the book. And about whom I won’t give anything away except to say they are super lovely and loving.

Anyway.  Highly, highly, highly recommended for all humans, but especially the ones who like Alexis Hall’s writing, and/or for those who enjoy the “bildom” trope but don’t hold it sacrosanct. And if you’re not familiar with either, or aren’t especially into the whole bildom thing, you might want to give this a try anyway, because you’ll find this particular take on it is the exception to many rules.  If you’re on the fence, you can always download a sample to try.

I’d just hate for anyone to miss out on this. It’s really pretty bang dang special ❤


Looking for Group by Alexis Hall – Blog Tour with Giveaway

From Top to Bottom Reviews


Please welcome Alexis Hall who kindly agreed to submit himself to our questions. We hope you have as much fun reading his asnwers as we did planning the questions. Here we go!

First of all, we want to thank you for agreeing to this interview. You’re one of our go-to authors, and we were really excited at the idea of getting to ask you some questions. We promise we’ll behave. We’ll do a few general questions, and then some related to your latest release Looking for Group.

What does your typical writing day look like? Do you have a writing schedule?

I’m actually full-time employed so I usually write in the evenings and weekends. I don’t particularly have a schedule, but I try to write every day if I can.

Where do you think you’re your most comfortable writing? Home? A café? The train station? The possibilities are endless and…

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For You

Wow, incredibly good post on this subject!

'Nathan Burgoine

One of the things about being a gay author of short fiction that usually finds itself on the more spec fic side of the street than the romantic is I’m not often a part of the romance culture as I’d like to be. I love romance, and a great deal of the short fiction I’ve written has definitely been gay romance, and even my first novel, Light, had a romantic sub-plot that was almost as weighty to the sum total of the book as the spec fic content was.

Often, this means I don’t often see a lot of the discussions that occur until they’re very well underway, and often those discussions have turned into a lot of anger before I see them at all. Which sort of sucks. I often only see a topic when someone posts a “This is So Damn Wrong!” post, a “It’s No Big…

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The Mythical Unicorn of LGBTQIA Novels (Or, the A doesn’t stand for Ally.)

Really important piece about asexuality!

Just Love: Queer Book Reviews


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I read a book last week that made the breath catch in my throat, made me pause and re-read a dialogue exchange once, twice, and then punch the air and shout “YES AWESOME!” That book was Part & Parcel by Abigail Roux. The scene that affected me so strongly was this one:

“Are you asexual?” Kelly asked carefully.

“That mean I don’t really like having sex?” Digger asked, and Kelly shrugged and nodded. “Then I guess so.”

I’ve discussed this a few times previously here on my blog. I am asexual. I am part of the approximately 1% of the world that is*. Think about that. 1% of the entire world is ace. That’s more than 70 million people. By comparison, only about 2% of the male population in the world identifies as gay. And yet there are thousands of books with gay romantic pairings, and only a handful with…

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